In the parking lot

I think the ennui surrounding my existentialistic conundrum and despair is giving up on me and taking the long road home. It hasn't been how I expected "taking time off " meant. I am in a funk and it is boring. Even funny stories seem dim witted. So I wait patiently for leaves to fall, seasons to change and the car to start.

A more dynamic year , please!

11.12.13

I need to write something today just to make this date on my blog. I thought awhile ,what could I pen?No rambunctious thoughts , no witty sermons , no whiny cliches are resident anymore. Soul is troubled and far away. Muse alive ,urging me to complete my book and participate in my first writing competition.
I am content yet not happy. Missing pieces distort the mosaic of my existence and make it banal.
The 4 year old tells me her stories. The 10 month old guffaws. It's a wonderful life , I think . Let banality and sorrow rest for just another day. For today is just perfect.

A standstill.

Unbeknownst to the world and its impatience to get to that point in eternity when it will finally keel over by wars, famine,global warming, and just poor leadership, I exist. At this moment and in this piece of earth, where I plod through myriad to-dos and multiple breathtaking moments of pure innocence of a child not yet colored by the world that beckons her. I pause and I breath as I watch my little sphere of existence filled with people implode with worry, stress and just plain complacence or ignorance or just numbness as they trudge through their existence not feeling, not breathing , not pausing.

How will I write , I wonder? Where is the discourse, the angst, the questioning? Where is the edginess of the conversations that would awaken my muse and let it masturbate spilling its creativity onto my blank pages making it pregnant with characters, plot and beauty.

Today is tomorrow

Kids can be trying. They are impatient, silly and make an organized, scheduled life unravel into tiny shards. They throw up just as you are hurrying out of the door for yet another kiddo birthday party. And yes , as you sit through another princess or pirate themed party (mommies , get thinking and be creative )with the ridiculous pinkness or pirate-ness while your tots bawl or throw cake , you long for a glass of Chardonnay and brunch.

With a wistful and woeful sigh , you slump your shoulders for the madness of being "kidless". Oh, that dramatic spontaneity of taking off on trips , movies and nothingness.

But then your heart prods you just so lightly and pulls back to the beauty of innocence as your daughter petulantly asks , when is the playdate,Momma ? Tomorrow. Is today tomorrow, she says ?

Today is just beautiful . Princess themed parties notwithstanding.